If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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