Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
