My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
