I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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