whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
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