I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
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