it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
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