i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
