I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
