so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
