someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Congratulations! We have a period
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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