im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
this is an emotional support booty call
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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