You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
