theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
do herpes really smell.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
