At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
