having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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