That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
