Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize
