Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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