So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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