I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
