She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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