Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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