We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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