please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
