Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Randomize
