i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
He did a backflip because drugs
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
