I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Randomize
