You don't have asthma, your pregnant
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
