just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Randomize
