ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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