The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize