butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
