If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Please don't give away my fajitas
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
