Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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