Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
