dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize