I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
my poor anus
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
