Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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