Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
