Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
