You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
It's rum buckets o'clock
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
