You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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