dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
You can't just leave with hair like that
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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