i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
