Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
don't judge my taste in strippers
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
