How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
