so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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