Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
