friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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