Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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