Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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