My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
