He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
