Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
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