He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
