We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
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