why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
