Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
