operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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