Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
FUCK WHALES
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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