Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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