He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
